Hope to Be Free - Nonbinary Month
by friendlyneighborhoodfairy
Summary: {Nonbinary Month #4} Gender-questioning: it's hard to get others to understand when you don't have any answers. When Minerva and Orga run into each other at the toilets, neither says anything about the questions it raises...until they go on a quest with Rufus and Yukino.


**A/N:** Fairy Tail + gender questioning.

* * *

 **Hope to Be Free**

Minerva walked out of the toilets minding zir business and ran smack into Orga. As ze rebounded off him, they stared at each other in surprise.

"Oh," Minerva said in a small voice.

"Oh," he said, blinking.

"Um, excuse me." Ze darted around him.

The mix of physical contact, being stopped, and the startled gaze had zem feeling uncertain all over again. Ze should've just used the women's toilets.

* * *

"Lady Minerva."

Ze knew it was Rufus—he was the only person who said the whole title. Too many syllables.

Ze turned around with a questioning look, but when ze saw Orga with him, zir pulse sped up and ze couldn't look him in the eye. Ze hadn't faced him since the incident.

"There's a job that calls for four people due to the nature of the work, and Yukino said you two might be amenable."

"Gods, Rufus, speak normally," ze said, rolling zir eyes.

"I like how he talks," Orga protested.

"Are you busy?" Rufus asked, ignoring both their comments.

"I…no," ze said, before ze could decide whether or not to make up an excuse.

"Splendid. We'd like to set out at noon."

Minerva shrugged. "As long as Yukino is game."

* * *

With Rufus's specificity about time, ze expected to ride a train, but the four hiked a road out of the city that quickly turned into a dirt track.

"Woodsy," ze commented, inhaling a cacophony of fresh scents.

"Isn't it lovely?" Yukino sighed. "I love being outdoors."

"You also love trains, the guild, our flat, walking around the city, and driving," Minerva pointed out.

Yukino turned pink, flashing zem a small grin.

"You're easy to please," Rufus chuckled, adding, "I mean that as a compliment."

"Isn't everyone happy as long as the world is peaceful?" Yukino asked.

"I don't care," Orga grunted, "but Rufus is picky."

"That's not true," he protested, while the others grinned at him. "Okay, it's a little true."

"I didn't say there was anything _wrong_ with being picky," Orga muttered.

"Lady Minerva has her tastes too," Rufus said, "so I suppose I'm in good company."

"It's just Minerva," ze said. "Actually, Min is better. No need for formality."

Rufus waved a vague hand. When had the _Lady_ thing even started? She blamed Sting. Sting was a good scapegoat for most things (and it got Rogue adorably riled).

Noting Orga had fallen to the back to walk beside zem, ze inhaled before looking up.

"Not Lady, huh?" he asked.

"No."

Orga rubbed his temple. "...Sir?"

"Orga!" Rufus exclaimed, whirling around.

"It's just a question."

"It's like you _want_ to lose your head," Rufus grumbled, turning and walking forward again.

Yukino looked over her shoulder and gave Orga a sweet smile.

"Rufus wants you to stay in one piece."

Grinning, Orga bit his lip while Min stifled laughter. Catching Orga's attention, ze pointed at the back of Rufus's head. His ears were red beneath his hat.

"What's going on back there?" Rufus grumped without turning around.

"Observing the wildlife," Min said calmly. "Watching nature work its wonders."

Orga busted up. Turning around to walk backward, Rufus glared at Min.

"What?" ze shrugged. "Even I figured out you're dating, and I'm abysmal at these things."

Spluttering, Rufus gave Orga a desperate look, but Orga smiled.

"Why does everyone insist on keeping their inter-guild romances secret?" ze asked. "It's not like you're disrupting anything. If the guildmaster can do it, everyone else can."

"Fine," Rufus said, annoyance melting as he watched Orga continue to chuckle. For a minute, he actually looked shy. "If there are going to be no secrets, then how about you and Yukino?"

"Oh, no, we're not dating," they both stuttered.

"We're just friends," Min said.

"Ah."

"We live together and work together and we're really close," Yukino said, voice high. "It's understandable."

The conversation settled down after that, and when Orga eventually rejoined his boyfriend in the front, Yukino fell into step with Min and squeezed zir shoulder. They smiled at each other: they'd gotten used to fielding these misunderstandings. Just friends for now.

* * *

Their job ending too late to make it back—and the village being so tiny the most respectable place to stay was in nature—the four made camp, arranging themselves around the small fire Orga studiously nurtured to life.

"You never answered about calling you Sir," Orga said suddenly.

Rufus stiffened and Yukino looked up.

"Just Min," ze insisted with a calm smile. Ze'd learned from Yukino that smiles got people to shut up faster.

"But you were in the men's toilets the other day," he pressed.

Rufus made a startled noise and began coughing. Yukino's eyebrows went up in question: _so you decided to do it?_

"Yes."

"Are you…?" Orga left the sentence open.

"Am I what? Fucking someone in the toilets? Doing research on mold and disease?"

"Yetch," Rufus exclaimed, while Yukino made a face. "Did you have to?"

"He's the one that didn't finish his question."

"Trans," Orga said. "Are you trans?"

"I don't know."

He tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't know."

Ze caught Yukino's supportive smile, relaxing a little. Right. This was okay. They'd talked about this: nobody in Sabertooth judged a changing gender. Ze could do this.

Orga and Rufus leaned forward, waiting for more.

"I'm not sure," ze huffed finally. "Sometimes I'm uncomfortable with my body, 'My Lady' makes me cringe, and I'm trying to figure it out."

"Oh. Cool." Orga poked the fire with a stick.

"I had a cousin like that," Rufus said. When Min blinked in surprise, he chuckled. "What? You think because they have money my family is full of put-together people who are all sure of themselves? You're case in point that class doesn't equal self-knowledge."

"Thank you, I think?"

"My cousin eventually decided on the genderfluid label," he went on. "Not _decided_ like it's a choice, but…out of all the applicable labels, that was the one they felt best fit."

"If there weren't any labels, I think I'd feel fine," Minerva murmured, then stopped.

Everyone looked at zem.

"Fine with your body, too?" Yukino asked, voice soft and encouraging.

"I don't know about that. But if there were only one pronoun, pronouns wouldn't be an issue. If people were just people, and what we call 'gender expression' was just the varying of our personalities…"

"But that's not the world we live in," Orga said, and he sounded sad. Ze nearly patted his arm in solidarity, comfort wrapping around zir heart.

"No, it isn't," ze agreed.

After a pause, he said, "Sorry for bringing it up."

"It's fine." Ze exhaled. "Just so long as you all drop the 'Lady.'"

Rufus quirked a smile. "I'll remember that, Min."

The warmth that spread through zir body made zir face twist into expressions ze didn't want them to see. Ze was grateful when Orga broke up the fire for them to go to bed.

Yukino lay down beside zem.

"So. Min." Yukino whispered. "I like it. It's graceful and gender-neutral."

"I'm still adjusting to it in my head, but I'm getting there."

Yukino's warm hand found zirs in the darkness.

"I'm proud of you."

Min sighed. "Thanks."

Ze threaded their fingers together as they both fell silent.

One day, when ze had figured this gender thing out, the two of them might establish something more conclusive. At the moment, they had clasped hands and a shared flat and a majority of their time spent together. Min didn't feel any pressure to make something else happen. They understood each other: they had all the time in the world.

"How do you think I'll know when I've figured it out?" ze asked.

"I think you'll just know?" Yukino shifted. "And you'll decide too: 'I've finished my self-discovery and here is my identity.' Except less wordy, because you're more eloquent than I am. And you won't say it, you'll just live it."

"Do you think I'll feel…free?"

Yukino squeezed zir hand.

"I don't know. But I hope so."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for all the comments on Nonbinary Month so far ^^ I knew I'd get trolled for it, but when I hear from you lovelies, it makes up for everything.


End file.
